Thursday 11 December 2008

Clinton's, meet the Clinton's.






















Bill Clinton has always seen things differently to normal people. Getting up always means going down and going down is always coming up.



Dear sports, here's another unpaid piece of art from Thursday 19 of June 2008.

The Clinton's. [The Flintstones]

Clinton's. Meet the Clinton's.
They're the modern stoned age family.
From the, town of Bedhop,
They're a page right out of perjury.

Let's ride with the family raking dough.
Through the courtesy of Bill’s big blow.

When you're raped by Clinton's,
You'll have a grabba a Bubba dong time,
A stabba you time,
You'll have a stained old time.


Obama. [Maria]

The most meaningless sound I ever heard:
Obama, Obama, Obama, Obama.
All the fraudulent sounds of the world in a single word:
Obama, Obama, Obama, Obama, Obama, Obama.

Obama, you can’t know a man named Obama,
and now the verb “change” will never be the same to me.
Obama! I've just dissed a man named Obama.

And typically I've found how terrible the Left can be.
Obama, say it loud and there's muzak playing.
Jerking off and it's almost like praying,
Obama, they never stop saying: "Obama!"


Al Gore. [Alfie]

What’s it all about, Al Gore?
Is it just for the moment you lie?
What’s your ass about when you’re spreading out, Al Gore?
Are you meant to take more than you give,
Or are you just a behind?

And if only fools are blind, Al Gore,
Then I guess its wise to be green.
And if life belongs only to the rich, Al Gore,
What will you bend on an old golden rule?

As sure as I believe there’s a sun spot above, Al Gore,
I know there’s something much more,
Something even non-believers can believe in.

I believe it’s fraud, Al Gore.
Without bullshit you just exist, Al Gore.
Until you find the fame you’ve missed you’re nothing, Al Gore.
When you talk let your ass lead the way,
And you’ll find less every day, Al Gore, Al Gore.


Butterball. [Thunderball]

Mike always waddles while others walk.
Mike eats while other men just talk.
He looks at this world, and wants it all,
Mike Moore lies, like Butterball.

He knows the meaning of success.
His needs are more, so he gives less.
They call him the whiner who takes all.
And he cheats, like Butterball.

Any kudo he wants, he'll get.
He will break any chair without regret.
His days of basting are not gone.
His fat goes on and on and on.
But he thinks that the fat is worth it all.
So he slides like Butterball.


Sean Penn. [Born Free]

Sean Penn, unstable his films blow,
As his treason shows,
Born free to follow his ass.

Live rich and stupid surrounds you.
L.A still astounds me,
Each time I look at a star.

Chavez freak, where no crime offends Sean,
You're dumb as a roaring toad,
So there's no need to know.

Bored me, your films are not worth paying,
But only worth fingering,
'cause you bore me.

Cocaine, and life is worth living,
But only worth living,
'cause you're over there.


George is still single. [George of the Jungle]

George, George, George is still single,
Dumb as he can be. (Ahhhhhhhh)
Came out of TV.

George, George, Clooney loves jingo,
Lives a life that's free. (Ahhhhhhhh)
Girlfriend on her knees.


Hanoi Jane. [Helen Wheels]

Hanoi (Hanoi) Hanoi Jane,
And a Commie rats gonna know the way guns feel.
Hanoi (Hanoi) Hanoi Jane,
And they never gonna take her away.


Diarrhoea’s a girls best friend. [Diamonds are a girls best friend]

The Greeks are glad to die for ass,
They delight in pounding stool's.
But I refer to the men who give,
And have extensive tools.

A schlong in the butt,
May be quite continental,
But diarrhoea’s a girl's best friend.

A piss may be grand,
But it won't clean the rectal.
With a humble splat,
Or help you at, the autoshat.

Men grow cold as girls grow old,
And we all lose our bowels in the end.
But square-cut or pear-shaped,
These cocks don't loose their shape.
Diarrhoea’s a girl's best friend.

Stiffany's! Fartier! Black Starr!
Frost Gorham! Talk to me Harry Reems!
Tell me all about shit!

There may come a time,
When an ass needs a reamer,
But diarrhoea’s a girl's best friend.

There may come a time,
When a hard-oiled impaler,
Thinks you're awful tight,
But get that grease, or else no night.

He's your guy, when wangs are high,
But beware when they start to descend.
It's then that those gasser's,
Go back to your asses.
Diarrhoea’s a girl's best friend.

I've heard of affairs that are strictly colonic,
But diarrhoea's a girl's best friend.

And I think affairs that you must keep Ebonic,
Are better bets, if little pets squirt bigger jets.

Time rolls on, and youth is gone,
And you can't straight up in your end.
But stiff crack or titties,
Can hand crank and jizz I see.

Diarrhoea! Diarrhoea!
I don't mean Rhino horn!
But diarrhoea’s a girl's best friend.

1 comment:

Eowyn said...

My dear Colonel -- it's actually becoming a bit spooky.

I have need of a laugh, or insight, or both -- and perhaps I haven't checked your blog in a while, but I do -- and lo and behold, the absolute antidote for whatever's emotionally needing a fix :)

This one had me SHOUTING with laughter :)

Many thanks, my friend!